Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I Am Humbled and Honored

I wasn't expecting to blog about this tonight. I was hoping to blog about Philippians 4:6-7. I've turned over my worries to prayers and truly God has replaced my fears with peace. I can't explain it, but I have the peace which surpasses all understanding. And I wanted to share that with my readers tonight.

Even though, I still have peace, my evening went much different than I expected.

I am here at the hospital with my Mom tonight. It's my turn to spend the night with her. Me and my sister are staying every other night. My Mom's journey has not gone how I would have wanted it to go, but we have found bright spots along the way. My Mom has had 5 surgeries in the past 3 weeks. There have been set backs. But I've managed to remain calm. I trust God. I put the situation in His Hands.

Tonight I was challenged. My Mom was sore and chaffed. I washed her full body. As I washed, she cried. She said, "No daughter should ever have to do this." However, I was honored to wash my mother. As I wiped the warm cloth over her body, I felt the love of Jesus saying, "I made this woman and I want her to feel clean. Thank you for washing her." It was my pleasure to wash her.

A little while later, an odor took over the room. Mom's colostomy bag had burst. Her linens and gown were soiled. She was embarrassed. I called for the nurse. 2 nurses came. They tended to Mom with care and allowed her to keep her dignity. I was so appreciative of that. They cleaned her up, changed her gown and sheets, and told her that everything was ok. They took their time in changing her bag, cleaning her up, and making her feel human and normal.

Yes, I have a peace that surpasses understanding, but I have to be honest. I hate what my Mom is going through. I hate it. I have never gone through anything like this in my life. I don't like that staying in the hospital almost feels normal. I don't like that I miss my family and our suburban lifestyle. I don't like that my Mom doesn't know what tomorrow will bring.

But God.

But God.

But God picked me. He picked me to have the honor to wash my Mom. He picked me to be humbled enough to clean her up. He picked me to have the calm and strength to be there for her. He picked me to have the priviledge to give back a little of what she's given to me over the years. And I am honored and humbled.

God is enough. I couldn't do what I'm doing, feel how I'm feeling, or get through what I am going through without Him. I have peace. And that is only from God.

Many Blessings and Much Love,


****Mom has another surgery on Thursday, July 9th. Thank you for your prayers.


Joyful said...

Oh Melissa, the Lord has chosen you and you are doing an amazing job!!! You are caring for, and loving your Mom in such a beautiful way, giving testimony to so many others of a humble, selfless daughter of the King.

I know it's hard...but God.

Praying you will see Him all around you today.
Sending love, prayers and hugs,

Booklover1212 said...

Melissa -

Your post moved me this morning beyond words. I truly believe that God places us in certain situations for certain reasons....and that was one of them. I will pray for your mom's surgery tomorrow and for her healing. I will pray for peace for you & your family.

Sending you God's love.

~ Jennifer

Anonymous said...

Two years ago I was in a similar situation with my dad. Your posting brought back many memories.
I reduced my fulltime work hours to spend time with my dad and help out my mom who was caring for him. Although it was so difficult to watch my strong dad during his illness I will always say it was a honor and privledge to care for him. He lost his battle with cancer but I will never forget or regret the time we spent together.

God gave me such a wonderful gift by allowing me the opportunity give back to my dad. I miss him everyday, but because of our time together I feel at peace. He is home with our heavenly Father now and I thank our God that I was able to serve him and my earthly father, during my dad's struggles.

May the He bless you and keep you and your family in his loving arms today and always.

Wendy Pope said...

I have already prayed for Becky this morning sweet friend. I am so thankful to God forgiving you peace. He truly gives us what we need to go through what He calls us to go through. He is doing this for for you, Becky and Buddy.
You are precious in His sight and mine!
Love you

Daphne said...

His strength is perfect when your/our/my strength is gone,
He'll carry us when we can't carry on,
Raised in His power the weak become strong
His strength is perfect! His strength is perfect!

God is in control. I am touched but blessed by your post. May His strength continue to be with you moment by moment. Be assured of my prayers.

Melanie said...

I'm praying for you.

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